Tobi’s Story - #DisabilityPride
During this Disability Pride Month we sat down with Tobi Green-Adenowo to gain a deeper understanding of her experience and amplify her story. Being Black, disabled, Muslim and Bisexual, Tobi's story is one that is rare and unique and deserves to be heard.
Photography by Ella Mae Ward
Can you tell us a bit about yourself…
My name is Tobi Green-Adenowo. I am a bisexual, disabled Muslim woman who also grew up in the foster care system. Profession wise I am a dancer, and I also do a lot of content creation and advocating for disabled people.
The main disability I was born with is Osteogenesis Imperfecta type 3, also known as Brittle Bones. Which means that my bones break really easily, I’ve broken roughly 75 bones. Growing up was very difficult because I couldn't walk at all. I always had to sit in one place and I often felt left out when I was not able to run about with the other children, but as I grew up, I did start to take more risks.
Although another aspect of my condition is that, when I break a bone, it never heals the same. They often heal curved and my body sort of contorts which means I’m constantly in pain and spent the majority of my childhood in hospital, which meant that a lot of my education was done in hospital as well.
What are some things that you love and enjoy?
I love to encourage people, I love to dance. I love all of the arts really, you know acting, singing, producing.
“I also like to volunteer with care services and advocating for young people that have come out of the foster care system.”
Also since I’ve recently come out, I’ve now started to talk more about being bisexual and being a Muslim and what that journey has been like and that has definitely become something that I am now passionate about.
How has the process of coming out been for you?
It’s been easy with friends mostly, although I have had a few strange comments from people who have said, “Oh you don’t look gay” and people who had made homophobic jokes infront of me before, seemed quite embarrassed now that I have come out.
But overall, people have been quite accepting. Even my carers, who I was really nervous to tell because they’re both Muslim, they we’re both accepting and still love me either way. I still haven’t come out to my family and I don’t know if I ever will because being bisexual is still completely outlawed in Nigeria.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever feel ready to tell my family.”
Could you share a bit about being both Muslim and Bisexual, what has that experience been like for you?
I do sometimes feel like a bit of a hypocrite , or like I’m letting everyone down because who I am sort of conflicts with my religion. So yeah, it does get me down and affect my mental health but overall I am proud of who I am.
Tell us one thing people may not know about you?
I think something that a lot of people don’t know is that I used to train as a wheelchair racer and I was supposed to be a paralympian but I gave it up at the age of 16 to be a dancer.
I just felt like I needed to be true to myself but also being a part of the paralympics or just being a young athlete is really intense and people don’t often talk about the effect it can have on your mental health. So I am glad that I let go of that world and stayed true to myself.
Tell us a bit about why representation is so important to you?
Well, not all Black women are the same, we are so varied. Representation is very dear to my heart because growing up I never felt like there was anyone who represented who I am and what I stand for and sometimes I felt like the wrong people were speaking on my behalf. So you know, it’s important because it means that more stories will be told and hopefully eventually that will lead to better awareness and understanding.
“Disabled people need to be seen, not just in the fun things but also in the important things like politics and decision making when it comes to laws”
Speaking of laws, you actually changed the curriculum in the UK, could you tell us a bit about that process?
Yes, so I changed the curriculum for GCSE Dance. So that disabled people could take GCSE Dance at whatever level they are at and be fairly marked. I was the first disabled person in the whole of the UK to get an A* in Dance and I also brought other disabled people on that journey. I was able to get other disabled students with a wide range of disabilities to be a part of this dance programme and then from there I managed to change exam boards and to this day my video is still used when it comes to training and my story is currently in the British Museum for the next 30 years.
I think being in Foster care really prepared me for that process because every 6 months, I always had these meetings with all these adults talking about me and my progress.
“I think that is why I didn’t crumble under the pressure, I was really built for that moment.”
What do you feel like brands like us should be doing to support more women like yourself?
I think that instead of just showcasing us, which of course is great because representation is important and I know all my friends get so excited when they see me taking part in brand campaigns but instead of just showcasing us, it would be great if brands like BGF had a forum or community of disabled people that they could consult with to help inform or shape certain decisions in the work that you do. For example, making your website and platforms more accessible, if you shared your website with the forum they could tell you what needs to be done to make your content more accessible so that you're actually able to communicate with the disabled community.
“We’re so often excluded from the conversations and our experiences are often not even considered, that needs to change.”
Thanks so much to Tobi for taking the time to share her experience with us! Check out Disabled Power Network by Tobi Green-Adenowo
